June 27th, 2005 | This is from the April 2005 issue of magazine:

"My boyfriend and I are in love, but he doesn't want to marry until he's 30 (he's 26). Should I move on?"

Answers 's Irma Kurtz: Stick with him! "It's only natural for you to want a long-term commitment—and to question why he set this arbitrary date—but why would you consider moving on from someone you love enough to want to marry? If you really love him deeply, you would adore being with him now and would gamble on his staying true to you into his thirties and beyond. I would give it more time and not make a definite move in any direction until you are absolutely sure not of his feelings about commitment, but of your own."

Karen comments: I don't know, I think this woman is right to be troubled about sharing her body and soul with a man who says maybe, just maybe, he'll think about marrying her in FOUR YEARS!

Wendy Shalit replies: I completely agree with you. And yet, (as usual) questions the woman's commitment and motivations, and advises that actually, she has the problem? I don't think so. I think her instincts are first-rate. Any man who really loves a woman is concerned about losing her, and should have a real plan to wed.

Karen: I think the only legit excuse for a 4-year wait is if you're 18 and waiting to finish college.

Wendy: Yeah, otherwise, I wouldn't keep your hopes up. Someone who can wait 4 years can easily wait 40 more.

Karen: That would make this boyfriend 66 and not such a catch anymore.





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